Andrew Garfield?? Yes please

Ok so I love me some Shia Labeouf, but Andrew Garfield?? Andrew Garfield! I mean I watched The Social Network last night, and he took me there! Yes, there! The "I want to go to there" there.

I don't know. I can't describe it. I think I just have a thing for jew fros. But he really is a hottie and he's much older then me and he has a freaking british accent! So I'll be career stalking and LA stalking him in the near future. He is set to shoot the next spider man movie! Yes Peter, please save me with your venom.

**Shakes head** Umm yes, so he's def on my tashasMAD watch list.

and grrr. he made a movie with Cary Mulligan -__-

I'm hating. I emailed my friend as soon as I found out.

this is a rant email.

CARY FUCKING MULLIGAN. THAT STUPID BRITISH WHORE. I HATE HER. I AM JEALOUS OF HER. I HATE HER. first SHIA LABEOUF, second SHE'S BRITISH, third she's THE SUC IN SUCCESS grr, fourth OMFG fourth ANDREW FUCKING GARFIELD.

ok backstory. I was first introduced to Andrew Garfield last night when I watched the Social Network. Watch the movie, he and the twins are hot. ANYFUCKINGWAY! I decided he shall be mines because he's jewish, can act, sexy and jewish, made my heart thumper, he's sexy and jewish (and i've finally admitted that I have a type) and KIM, he is fucking american-british. Kim he has an accent! So I'm literally texting Shia like, "I hope you can get over me fast bitch" and thus start my google stalking of Andrew. whyyy did a whole bunch of pictures of him with CAREY FUCKING MULLIGAN POP THE FUCK UP! kim i am so mad! I mean, I get it. Every hero needs her villian but damn bitch! So ok it's official. Me and Carey are beefing. So hard man. so hard.

ENJOY THE ROAD!

oh ps. they did some movie together last year called Never Let Me Go. I will be watching it soon.

 I will watch Never Let Me Go. And I will probably love it, but I will still...STILL...be pissy of Cary Mulligan.

EDITED TO ADD: I am the hero and Carey is the Villain.

The Social Network: Review

The Social Network starring Jessie Eisenburg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, Rashida Jones, Rooney mara, and Joseph Mazzello. Directed by THE David Fincher.

The movie about Facebook.com and the impending lawsuits it brought forth. Yes please! Based off the book "The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal" by Ben Mezrich.

So Mark Zuckerberg already said that the movie is fiction, which I would too. He comes off as some nerdy asshole, but in the end he isn't necessarily unlikeable but rather just a motivated mother effer. At least that's what I took from the film. The first scene you see Jessie interact with his girlfriend, and it's odd. You wonder how they even got to that point in their relationship but it doesn't really matter because they break up and an angry Zuckerberg runs (literally for like 5 minutes?) back to his dorm to drink, bitch about his ex on his blog, and start a website. I loved it!

We are first introduced to his best friend Eduardo (Andrew Garfield) in this scene where he reads the blog and comes to be there for his friend. BROMANCE! He actually becomes the CFO of facebook, and one half of the impending lawsuits Mark later faces. He essentially puts up the funding for the website and after the launch signed a contract for 30% of shares, that later goes to 0.03%. Mark does nothing to defend his friend. He actually ends up being butt buddies with the creator of Napster, Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake) Some social network party asshole who bumps heads with Eduardo. It's a fucked up story but one that leads to millions and billions of dollars. Seemingly unrealistcic but really truly realistic.

I think David Fincher did great with the story. It had the right amount of comedy, awkardness, emotional roller coaster, and great dialoque. If you're interested in the film, you won't be disappointed. Seriously! 10/10.

P.S. David Fincher is currently directing The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. That's major son.

Breaking Dawn Update: Maggie Grace

So, Maggie Grace is all set to play Irina in Breaking Dawn. Care not I.

Just Kidding! I do care, hence the Post. She is probably best known for being Liam Neeson's daughter in Taken. Great fucking film! I mean Great.

Ok Twiharts, another white girl will be starring in twilight. Freaking Great. I'm still waiting for them to offer me the role of Tanya! We need some sisters up in there.

Hey Stephanie Myers, are you trying to be fucking funny? How come out of all the covens that come to witness for the Cullens none are from Africa?

As a black woman obessed with Twilight I am appalled. I'll be awaiting my script TWILIGHT!

Update:

Ok I did some research on Tanya. (aka google is my homie) Supposedly she is from Slovakia. Which is cool because black people are everywhere. Good looks slave trade. Now, for the purpose of my argument I will like to add that Tanya being a sister ALSO WORKS because when Laurent leaves his coven to be with the Denali coven he falls in love with Irina. Ok, so Laurent and Tanya are homies because they share the same oppressions as being rare black vampires. Laurent, being the typical black male, just happens to fall in love with her white sister. SMH! Ok so it could totally work and then every race is represented and Twilight wins.

Are you with me people?

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps starring Michael Douglas, Shia Lebeouf, Carey Mulligan, Josh Brolin, and appearances by Susan Sarandon. Directed by Oliver Stone.

Ed note: This review will probably be biased as I have an unexplainable love for Shia and this is automatically the movie of the year as far as I am concerned. However, I will try my best to be fair and not talk shit about his on screen and off screen lover Carey Managain er Mulligan. Here we go.

Oliver Stone gives us part two to his 1987 hit Wall Street staring Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen. This time around we focus on the 2008 economic collapse and the return of the great Gorden Gekko. Shia plays Jake Moore, who is a young and beautiful "wall street guy" who is in love with Gorden Gekko's estranged daughter Winnie (Carey). He is doing very well until a scandal is created and leads to the downfall of his company's stock. Blah blah economy stuff and then he seeks the advice of Gorden Gekko without his girlfriend's permission. Drama ensues.

Honestly, the movie is well written and has brillant acting. I got a little lost in all the newspaper details in Stone's attempt to be credible and accurate. I honestly wasn't interested in any of that mumble jumble. It wasn't as fun and flashy as the new facebook movie promises to be, but I guess I had no reason to assume it would. Careys character was not a strong female lead at all. She pretty much was just there to be pulled by the other male characters, which for the purpose of the storyline worked. Josh Brolin was amazing as usual. No complaints here.

Anyways! Don't let my dull review get to your little head. There are many reasons to run and go see this film!
1. It was the number 1 movie this wknd :)
2. Shia is shirtless within the first 5 mins. win.
3. umm it maybe had some funny moments, I just can't remember any of them.

Ok my rating  is a fair 7.

For shits and giggles check out Film Drunk's 10 worst lines from Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Easy A: Review

Easy A starring Emma Stone, Penn Badgley, Amanda Bynes, Dan Byrd, Thomas Hayden Church, Lisa Kudro, Stanley Tucci, and Patricia Clarkson as well as many other appearances including Cam Gigandet.

A teen comedy about how one little rumor can change one's social status dramatically. Emma Stone plays Olive, a relative unknown girl at her high school, who tells her best friend that she lost her virginity over the weekend. People over hear and with the technology nearly all high school students have the lies spread and become more and more exaggerated. Next thing you know, our beloved Olive is a tramp hoe, allegedly. SMH!

Instead of being so embarrassed our girl Olive turns things around to help her social status, her financial status, and those of classmates who need her assistance. Well played Olive, well played.

It's a very fun movie and trust me you will get your laughs. Bonus: It's a collaborative of all things great from John Hughes Movies and not in a terribly cheesy way either. Ok I won't say all that but it didn't make me want to kick a baby :)

I love that Emma Stone is becoming such a big star and hope she goes far! She can carry her own and proves to everyone that a female lead in a comedy has no limitations. Starting off in the hilarious Super Bad and the must see Zombieland, I always knew she had it in her.

My favorite part of the movie was that Olive had the greatest parents in the world! I want parents like Stanley Tucci and Patricia Charleston sheesh! They are the type of parents that will support you no matter what. No seriously, I think if they were my parents and I came up with an elaborate bank heist plan they'd ask what day of the week works best for me.

The one thing that probably bothered me the most about this film is Amanda Bynes acting. Remember when she "quit acting" for all of two seconds. Well she should have stayed retired. I always find her acting too exaggerated, like she's trying to hard. Hey Amanda, maybe you hate acting so much because you give yourself a brain aneurysm saying one sentence!

All in all if you're like me and love all 80's movies, this film will tickle your toes. (umm sure why not?)

Also I figure I always give movies B's so I'm going to try a a 1-10 scale. 1 being The International and 10 being The Breakfast Club.

Easy A gets an 8!

The Town: Review

The Town starring and directed by Ben Affleck. Also stars Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Rebecca Hall, Blake Lively, Pete Postlewaite, Chris Cooper, Titus Welliver, Slaine, Ed O'Keefe, Brian Scannell, and Mark Berglund.

A bank heist film about Charlestown, Boston. First off, I love Cawpse and Rawwbers movies!! However, first reaction after leaving this film is "Damn Affleck must have felt left out from The Departed's success"

Ben's character follows his father's footsteps to become a bank robber but wants to leave the family business after falling for one of their hostages played by Rebecca Hall. I had never heard of Hall but her performance was done well, except for that one bathroom scene that for some reason bothered me and damn near ruined the whole movie. Affleck did well too, which is no surprise because even though he is probably an asshole in real life, he does have some good quality work under his belt. Renner had to be my favorite by far because he could make me laugh and scare the shit out of me in the same scene. Gotta love that!

Ok lets get to Jon Hamm, who seems to be the man these days because of Mad Men, but disappoints in The Town. How are you a cop with a perfectly coiffed hair and scrubby facial hair??? He looked like a serial killer his damn self, and his acting...I'm going to assume he can do much better seeing as I only watched 3 minutes of Mad Men but he def took his check and shitted on this film because I was not impressed. Good Job not standing out simpleton.

Even though I could live a much happier life without ever hearing Blake Lively and her whiny baby killer voice again, (What is that??) she didn't make me want to OD on Asprin. Her role was limited but effective. I like that she chose an unflattering role and one that is not so commercial, which is what I was sure she was planning on doing with her career. We might have to look out for her in the near future.

I am not in love with this movie but it did have great action sequences and I couldn't predict the end until the actual last scene. The end dragged but that happens. Overall I liked it better then the takers because I didn't feel like a 12 year old school girl queezing over hot guys.

Well done Affleck for only your sophmore directing project.

Grade??? umm B+ for Boston Accents and quality story line.

P.S...aren't they any other areas to exploit besides poor Boston?? They get a bad rep but I'm going to need people to explore their creative options. Who wants to help me write my next thrilling biopic on bank robbers in Kenya???

The Tourist: Trailer

Here we are yet again. Another espionage movie, of a (disappointing unattractive JUST KIDDING HE'S ALWAYS SEXY LOSERS!) Johnny Depp and a weak British accent (JUST KIDDING AGAIN FAG HAGS SHE CAN DO IT ALL) having Angelina Jolie. All personal opinions besides...this movie has been done so many times I feel like God is trying to send me some sort of message and I'm failing desperately to understand it. OR..if it aint broke don't fix it!

So Angelina's Character gets Johnny Depp in some deep shit and she's so  hot so he's game and a lot of people probably die as well as explosions and maybe even some queer twist! We shall see.

I loved Mr. and Mrs. Smith but this shit looks like Jane Smith packed her shit and decided to go Salt in London! Despite it ALL...I'll be there opening day with a fresh bag of popcorn and M&M's. Don't Judge, I love that shit.